Our Story
Dear PawPaw,
I am wishing you the happiest of birthdays! 90 is a really big deal, I'd like to say you did alright for yourself to be a kid from Mississippi. I bought you sunflowers because you kind of remind me of the sunlight. You love it when it's here and you miss it once it's gone. I love you an immeasurable amount. But to love you is to love Granny. You both mean the world to me and I thank God for you. I know how much love, respect, compassion, discipline, and honor you've both poured into me, and I'm grateful to you. So I hope this note finds you well, and in no time I'll be back in the sitting room, laughing with you both and having a good ole time.
Love,
Destiny
Who are you and where are you from?
My name is Mary Brady, I’m from Natchez, Mississippi. I was born in Wilkerson County.
Where did you meet PawPaw?
In Natchez, Mississippi.
What did you think of the city of Chicago then, versus now?
Back then, I thought it was big, nasty, dirty place. For real. The streets were real dirty. Cause coming from Mississippi where I lived at, these streets was really dirty. Chicago streets was real dirty and I used to cry because I didn’t want to be here. Everything was dirty. And from where I came from, it was not. Versus now, I’ve gotten to know the place a little better, I knew people better. Coming from a small town where you know everybody to a place where you don’t know nobody. All that you see can make you uncomfortable, but I’ve gotten okay with it now. I made that adjustment. But coming to Chicago wasn’t good for me. I didn’t know anybody.
When did you move to Chicago?
Would you have went somewhere else?
We moved to Chicago in 1967 because your granddaddy got a job in Chicago.
Where did you first live when you migrated to Chicago?
1946 W. Washburn. And we lived there for about a year and a half. I don’t think its there anymore. Because of gentrification, I think they’ve torn that down. It was right off of Damen, but I don’t think those houses are there anymore.
No, because I wouldn’t have known to go any place else. It wouldn’t have come to me, to go any place else. I was in my lil comfortable lil city right there. Everything was all good. If Redd wouldn’t have came to Chicago, I’d probably still be in Mississippi. Now. I probably wouldn’t have known to go any place else. Just me on my own, I wouldn’t have known to go any place else. I just knew my lil town that I grew up in. Everybody knew everybody. I was very comfortable. Then he said we’re gonna go to Chicago because of a better job and I just tagged along. But it’s okay, I’ve gotten comfortable with it now, so it’s better. I didn’t like it when I first came though, it was just too dirty.
So if I tell you that you're a staple in this community, considering you and PawPaw’s role with Zion Grove and the children and family you’ve grown here, how does that make you feel?
For me, it makes me feel good. And for him, I don’t know how it made him feel, but through him, I felt he was important to the community. I mean like, part of the glue that kept the young guys together. Yeah, I think of him as being part of the glue that made them. Because we had gangs all around, but he got to know them. You got the gang boys and they played games together and stuff. Even right when one of them see him, or saw him, they will stop and talk to him. So I think he helped and kept them to get a little bit, a little. They know him. All the guys from all the projects around, they knew him. All of them. They know him. All those guys from Stateway Garden, Ida B Wells, 4120, all those guys knew him. They’d be out there and he cussed them out everyday, or every other day, or every other week [laughing] But they got used to him doing that, fussing at them or cussing at them and if he wasn’t they would think something was wrong with him. But he always did that, always played around with them. Made them get their haircut and tie their shoes and get your clothes on right, pull your pants up! And all those kinds of things. So he kept him stable like that back in those days, I think he did. I think he was important to the neighborhood. That’s how I feel about it through him. But I never thought I was important. I wasn’t outside. I was in the house all the time, just like now, I wasn't never outside.
But considering the community that you created on the inside. Like all my aunts and uncles, I feel like, that was your impact because without them there would be no me or any of my cousins.
Right, Right. But I was an inside person, and he was outside person. He was out there all the time, fussing at them playing with them, spanking them. Not to hurt them though. He’d say “I outta put you across my lap and spank you,” and they thought it was fun, they laughed at that. He was just a very important person in the neighborhood back then. He cooked for them. He barbecued in the back yard, just for just for the kids. One time he might just do hot dogs and the next time he might’ve felt like doing homemade ice cream, so he did that too. Whatever came to his mind. Just because of them being the children in the neighborhood, he would do that, and they had fun doing it.
I think he helped to keep them together a little bit because all of the guys know him. Old ones, young ones, good ones, bad ones. He treated them all the same, in the neighborhood you know. He didn't play with the girls, he played with the boys. He’d fuss at all of em’ but he didn't play with the girls, like he played the boys. He played with the boys all the time. He shared food with the girls, but he didn't play with them.
He didn't stop doing anything that he did to his family, that he didn't do for them. He’d stop and cuss out in two minutes flat and keep going.
What was a usual day in the neighborhood for you and PawPaw?
Well the day was good, like any other day. The only thing that made a difference was in the afternoon he came for work cause he went to work every day. Rain shine, snow, it didn't matter. I’ve never knew him, since I’ve known him down through the years, which is like 57 years, that he had a work day that he didn't. He went to work every single day and he was never late. He went on time every day. The only time you would see him would be in the afternoon because he came from work unless he was on vacation or something but other than that, he went to work everyday. So you didn't see him till afternoon. After 4:00 p.m. you’d see him, other than that you didn't see him because he was at work every day. He didn’t miss days of work.
When did you and PawPaw get married?
In February of 1968.
How was it being married to him?
So what was it like to be loved by him?
Good. Because he was a great provider and he made sure everything went well as far as taking care of the house and the home. He made sure all those things got done, at all times. We had food, clothes, shoes, shelter, always, that was his main thing, his main objective. So, I thought it was good. I was just by myself most of the time, but that was my doing because I didn’t like outside so I stayed inside most of time. But that was probably just me being me. Wasn’t like anybody told me I couldn’t go outside; I just didn’t go. It was okay.
No different from not being married to him. He was the same person in same person I met. He didn't change because we got married, he was the same time. There was no difference to me.
What about you? Did you change?
How long were you guys married?
I'm sure I did. It would take somebody else to tell you that. To me, myself, I'm the same person. The only thing I know is different from back then, he used to bleep bleep all the time. So, I learned the bleep bleep. So that's the change, you know! Otherwise, I don't think I would’ve known it very well if he didn't.
Oh gosh, over 50 years.
What are some of your fondest memories of PawPaw?
I have two. He danced very well and he had a great sense of humor. So those things were good.
That's more than five decades! Had you guys learned new ways to love each other
No, the old way worked.
When did you move into this house and like, what made you feel like this was the one that you knew you start your family in?
Who was you first child?
Andrew, Roscoe, Ron, Dexter, and LaTina.
We started in the house over on 1948 S Prairie because of economics. The rent was getting to be more than we could handle. So, this house made it easier for us to cope with it as far as money wise. PawPaw lost his job at that time, his job moved to Decatur. So, this house made it easier as far as getting around and making a living. I don’t know if I necessarily like those words “make a living” because it makes me sound like a real old person, but it was better for us. It was easier for us to live here instead of over there, because of that.
When did you decide to start a family?
That wasn’t no decision, it just happened!
What were some of the biggest shifts in your life when you became a mother?
Making sure the baby got food.
How was it for you raising five children?
Well, from back in my time, if your children didn’t obey you or didn’t do like you told them to, you spanked their behind. But in Chicago, in these later years, you cant spank your children. So, if one of mine did something I aint like, they knew, I was coming for them, and I meant business when I got there. And that’s a big difference, because children talk back to you know. And it’s because of all the stuff they hear on tv. My kids watched tv, but they weren’t allowed to talk back to me like that and they weren’t allowed to make a fuss. It was just respect. I don't the respect between mothers and parents is not as strong as it used to be. They’re fixing to help the kids fight now. If my kids start a fight, I wasn't going to help them fight. I was going to see why were they fighting? Not just go jump in a fight, because sometimes kids can be wrong. They don’t have to right because it’s your kid. Go and see what’s going on, before you get involved in it. But that was just my way of doing things. right. I didn’t just start fussing and fighting because your kid can be wrong sometimes and can start a whole big war about things that didn’t have to be that way, if you just squashed it down. Everybody calm down and maybe we’ll be a lil better.
I mean, was your first time having this whole little person to care for.
It had to eat, it had to get cleaned up. So those things, you made sure they happened. You made sure it had some food and it got changed and all those things.
What are some of the most important lessons you've tried to instill in us over the years?
To the girls, be a lady. To the boys be a man. Just always be a man. Always be a lady. That and to respect yourself, respect others. Common courtesy, please and thank you. I think those things are important. I did think so. I think if you learn to be courteous and polite and all those things, they will take you places where sometimes education won't take you. Because at least if you can speak a polite word to somebody, at least you can get that person's attention, they will listen to you because if you act all [bad] to them, they won't pay attention to you. So being polite, will get you in doors. It wont keep you there but it’ll get you inside, just being polite, that’s how I feel.
So, in hearing you talk about raising your kids, it makes me think about how “it takes a village”. So, I know Zion Grove is a really big part of you guy’s village, so when did you join the congregation?
In ’74. We moved to the South Side in ‘69, and we joined Zion Grove in ’74.
Had you had another church home?
Not in Chicago, I had one in Mississippi and Redd did too, but it wasn’t in Chicago. That's the first church home we had in Chicago
That’s like a whole other family for you. I know they call you Momma Brady. After having raised five of your own. But how is it in the church or how many church babies do you have?
Too many! But they care about me. Once when I was ill and I went back to church that Sunday, they hugged up on me and wouldn’t let me go. Even the little ones who don’t know me, their older brothers and sisters do so they hugged me to. Bigger kissed hugged me by my chest and the little ones hugged by my legs. And they were screaming, “Hi Ma, hey Ma!” And they were so happy to see me. That let me know that they missed me, and they love me. It’s one thing to be loved by the older generation, but when you receive it from the younger generation. When they stop and pay attention to you, then you’ve made a difference because old folks are going to be old folks no matter what.
Did you ever dibble and dabble at another church or no?
Uh-uh, always at Zion Grove. Always there. We went there and things seemed to be comfortable, the people were comfortable, and we just stayed there, still there.
What would say you’ve learned from Bronzeville? What have you learned from your neighborhood?
That it's changing. And the changes are, to me, for the better.
What are some of the things you've taken issue within your community?
Parenting.
What are a few things that let you know you're home and in your neighborhood like let's say you're walking blindfolded, what let's you know, you've made it to 39th and Pershing?
These young mothers, young fathers, is that they don't know what they’re doing?
I don't know if care is the right word. I think it’s that they don’t put enough effort into making their children be respectful. I can go to the front door and I can hear a young lady, cussing, screaming, and hollering at her child. She’s on 39th street and the baby is back in the middle of the street and she’s hollering at him telling him to hurry up can catch up with her, because she done walked off and left it. And I feel like if somebody want to walk off and steal that child and you would never know what happened to it because you’re not aware. Those kinds of things are different to me and I don’t like the ways that they take care of their children. They’re just not as attentive, so that bothers me. I think everything else is relatively the same. Every morning you get, and you go to work or you go to school so it’s basically the same. We just don’t pay as much attention to our children as we should. I don’t think we do.
What let’s me know I made it 39th and Pershing? I don't know any indicator today. I knew back when Redd was alive and I made it to 39th and Pershing, somebody was going to say “Big Man” or somebody was gonna say Mr.Brady. I knew I was her. But see now see that’s going to be a little different now because when you walk out the door now, nobody is saying “Big Man” and nobody is saying PawPaw or nobody is saying Mr.Brady. Those were the indicators that you knew you were on 39th street. Just passing by in a car, they were going to hang out the window and wave and say “Hey, Mr.Brady, or Hey, Big Man”. That’s how you knew you were here. Other indicators, I don't know now. I haven't been out outside that much to know what they would be, but that those would be the case back then, someone that was going to say one of those and he was going go back at them. So then, you knew you were home. But see now, I don’t know hat those indicators would be today. I’ll have to think about that. I haven't been out because of the pandemic and the weather is not warm so I haven’t been outside to know or to hear those words or to hear those voices so I don’t know what that indicator would be today. But that’s what it was back then. You’d hear Big Man, Mr.Brady, PawPaw, that’s how you knew you were on 39th street.
What ways would you like
to be remembered? You have
5 children, all types of grandchildren, great grandbabies on the way. So how would you like or us to remember you?
I hope to be remembered as being a loving person, because I love all my babies.
We love you too!
Just being a loving person. And I hope that I gave everybody that I knew respect because I wanted that back from them too. As well as a good woman. My mother always told me, no matter what you do or where you go, always be a lady. I think that was a good one too. And I’m a good grandmama because I spoil my grandbabies real good